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Why A Christ Centered Marriage May Not Be What You Think It Is

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When you think of a Christ-centered marriage or a biblical or Christian marriage, what comes to mind? Perhaps attending worship services together, maybe praying and doing devotions together? 

What if I told you that it is much more than that?

Discover the unexpected reality behind Christ-centered marriages and why it may not be what you initially thought. This eye-opening article will challenge your perspectives and provide valuable insights on how to build a strong and fulfilling marriage based on faith with the help of the Holy Spirit. You’ll learn about a marriage created by God’s design.  When you put God at the center of your relationship, you are more likely to have a happy marriage and a strong marriage. Let’s read on, shall we?

image of wedding rings on Bible with the text A Christ Centered Marriage: why it might not be what you think it is

The Surprising Truth About Christ-Centered Marriages,

Do you believe in the power of a Christ-centered marriage? You’re not alone. But what if the truth behind these unions isn’t exactly what you expect? Prepare to have your beliefs challenged and your perceptions shattered as we delve into the surprising reality of Christ-centered marriages, the marriage covenant in the Kingdom of God. In this eye-opening article, we’ll explore why perfection is not the goal, how communication and vulnerability play a pivotal role, and how faith can provide strength during the stormiest of times. Get ready to embark on a journey that will leave you with a new perspective on building a strong and fulfilling marriage rooted in faith.

A couple placing God at the center of their marriage or having a three-cord strand marriage is so much more than attending church, praying, and doing devotions.

Don’t misunderstand me here. Those things are all important, but it goes much deeper than that.

Having a Jesus-centered marriage is conducting yourself in a way, through marriage, that is pleasing to God. A marriage God’s way. It is following His commandments and teachings in the Bible in all you do as it relates to your marriage. It is true love for the Lord Jesus and your spouse.

  • It is managing your money responsibly.
  • It is setting boundaries around your marital union when it comes to family or friends.
  • It is demonstrating intimacy and sexual relations. Our human bodies belong to our spouses. 
  • It is speaking kindly and building one another up through words and actions.
  • It is learning to disagree and fight fairly
  • It is submitting to your husband in all things (not just the easy things)
  • It is learning how your spouse feels love and demonstrating that love in big and small ways
  • It is placing your husband over everything (yes, everything, even your children)
  • It is allowing your spouse to be your best friend
  • It is recognizing the differences in how God created men and women and how these differences impact marriage.
picture of man and woman touching hands for post why a Christ centered marriage may not be what you think it is

Some examples of a Christ-centered marriage from my life (what I’m still working on)

Let me give you an example. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, but recently, God was convicting me and prompted me to examine where I might not be putting Him at the center of my marriage. He was whispering in my ear that maybe I’m not giving ALL of my marriage to Him.

My husband’s needs always come first. I have his homemade sweet tea always made (and poured for him when he comes in from work), fresh baked goods every week and he never has to worry about clean clothes for work. I serve him first at dinner, and we pray together and do couple’s devotionals. We attend worship services together and are regularly intimate; when God convicted me, He shined a light on several areas that I need to improve.

I am a typical Type A personality – I have lists for my lists and am always working and striving in the house, for my ministry, and at work. I rarely slow down. 

My husband, on the other hand, is very laid back. He knows how to relax and is always in a good mood. I, however, let my busyness get in the way of relationships and find that I can be short-tempered and curt in my responses to him. I am not good at being still and struggle with patience. (God is working on me with this!)

When I respond impatiently, I am not demonstrating God’s love nor treating my husband in a way that is pleasing to God. I am to speak kindly and with “wisdom and faithful instruction,” not flippant answers because I need to check off things on my to-do list.

Here’s another example: This morning, we were discussing our plans for a date night. I needed to know where we were going when we were going, and what we would do – even though it was just before 8 am. He just rolled with the punches of the day and didn’t feel the need to worry about it until it was time to consider dinner.

God has wired us differently, and I need to, as a submissive wife, let go of my desire to control every moment and let him make the decision when he is ready. That is putting God at the center of my marriage – not planning out every second or demanding an answer. I need to let him drive the situation and be at peace with his decision – even if that decision isn’t made until we are ready to walk out the door. I also need to remember the roles of the husband that God laid out.

Why a Christ-centered marriage is not about perfection

A Christ-centered relationship is not about achieving perfection; it is about embracing imperfection and learning and growing together as a couple. While some may think that a Christ-centered marriage means living up to an idealized image of the perfect couple, the reality is far from that. In fact, striving for perfection can often lead to disappointment and frustration in a marriage.

Instead, a Christ-centered marriage is about recognizing that both partners are flawed and in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. It is about acknowledging that mistakes will happen and conflicts will arise but that there is always an opportunity for redemption and reconciliation. By understanding and accepting this truth, couples can create an environment of vulnerability and openness where they can freely express their thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection.

Communication plays a vital role in a Christ-centered marriage. Open and honest communication allows couples to express their needs and desires, to listen to one another with empathy and understanding, and to work together to find solutions to problems. It is through communication that couples can deepen their connection and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

Vulnerability is also crucial in a Christ-centered marriage. It is through vulnerability that couples can truly be known and understood by one another. By being vulnerable, couples can share their fears, insecurities, and struggles, knowing that they will be supported and loved unconditionally. This vulnerability fosters a deep sense of intimacy and trust, strengthening the bond between husband and wife.

In a Christ-centered marriage, the focus shifts from achieving perfection to cultivating a relationship built on faith, love, and grace. It is about relying on God’s guidance and strength to navigate the challenges and trials that come their way. By surrendering their own desires and trusting in God’s plan, couples can find peace and contentment in their marriage, even in the midst of difficulties.

So, if you’re seeking a Jesus Christ-centered marriage, remember that it is not about striving for perfection. It is about embracing your flaws, communicating openly, and being vulnerable with one another. It is about placing your trust in God and allowing His love and grace to guide your relationship. In the end, it is through this journey of imperfection that you will find the true beauty and fulfillment of a Christ-centered marriage.

cover of the God centered marriage course

The importance of communication and vulnerability

In a Christ-centered marriage, the focus shifts from achieving perfection to cultivating a relationship built on faith, love, and grace. It is about relying on God’s guidance and strength to navigate the challenges and trials that come their way. By surrendering their own desires and trusting in God’s plan, couples can find peace and contentment in their marriage, even in the midst of difficulties.

So, if you’re seeking a Christ-centered marriage, remember that it is not about striving for perfection. It is about embracing your flaws, communicating openly, and being vulnerable with one another. It is about placing your trust in God and allowing His love and grace to guide your relationship. In the end, it is through this journey of imperfection that you will find the true beauty and fulfillment of a Christ-centered marriage.

The importance of communication and vulnerability cannot be overstated in a Christ-centered marriage. It is through open and honest communication that couples can truly understand each other’s needs, desires, and concerns. By creating a safe space for vulnerability, where both partners feel comfortable sharing their fears, insecurities, and dreams, they can forge a deeper connection and strengthen their bond.

In a Christ-centered marriage, communication goes beyond surface-level conversations. It involves active listening, empathy, and the willingness to be fully present with one another. It is about creating a space where both partners feel heard, valued, and understood. Through effective communication, couples can navigate disagreements and conflicts with grace and compassion, seeking resolution and understanding rather than trying to prove who is right.

Vulnerability plays a crucial role in building trust and intimacy within a Christ-centered marriage. It requires both partners to let down their defenses, be honest about their emotions and struggles, and allow themselves to be seen in their most authentic selves. When couples are vulnerable with one another, they create an atmosphere of acceptance and unconditional love, where each person feels safe to be themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

By embracing vulnerability, couples can deepen their emotional connection and foster intimacy on a spiritual and emotional level. It allows them to share their hopes and dreams, as well as their fears and doubts, knowing that they are supported and cherished by one another. Vulnerability invites transparency, fostering an environment of trust and allowing couples to grow together in their faith and love for God.

Ultimately, in a Christ-centered marriage, communication, and vulnerability are the pillars that support the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. They allow couples to navigate challenges with grace and find strength in their shared faith. By opening themselves up to one another and to God’s guidance, couples can create a marriage that is rooted in love, understanding, and the desire to honor and serve Him.

Navigating challenges and finding strength in faith

By embracing vulnerability, couples can deepen their emotional connection and foster intimacy on a spiritual and emotional level. It allows them to share their hopes and dreams, as well as their fears and doubts, knowing that they are supported and cherished by one another. Vulnerability invites transparency, fostering an environment of trust and allowing couples to grow together in their faith and love for God.

Communication plays a crucial role in maintaining a Christ-centered marriage, as it allows couples to navigate challenges with grace and find strength in their shared faith. When faced with difficulties, couples who prioritize open and honest communication can lean on one another for support, relying on their shared beliefs to guide them. Instead of allowing conflicts to divide them, they can approach disagreements with a mindset of understanding and forgiveness, seeking to resolve issues in a way that brings them closer together and honors their commitment to God.

Furthermore, vulnerability and communication also help couples seek God’s guidance in their marriage. By humbly presenting their struggles and concerns to Him, couples can tap into a higher power that provides them with the wisdom and strength they need to overcome any obstacle. Through prayer and reflection, couples can find solace in God’s love and uncover the answers and solutions they seek.

Ultimately, in a Christ-centered marriage, communication, and vulnerability are the pillars that support the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. They allow couples to navigate challenges with grace and find strength in their shared faith. By opening themselves up to one another and to God’s guidance, couples can create a marriage that is rooted in love, understanding, and the desire to honor and serve Him. This strong foundation of communication and vulnerability sets the stage for building a unified vision for their marriage, where both partners can come together to align their aspirations and goals, making their journey as a couple even more purposeful and fulfilling.

Is yours a Christ-centered marriage?

Perhaps your marriage is hurting, and you are desperately seeking help to restore what God has joined after years of marriage.

Or, maybe your marriage is good, but God put this blog post in front of you so that you could examine each area of your marriage and ensure that you are putting God at the center of it.

You might even fall somewhere in between. Regardless of what brought you here, I am grateful for a God who loves us so much that He wants us to be happy. I pray that God shines a light on any area or areas of your marriage that you need to give completely to Him.

For another great perspective, check out this post by Money Wise Steward.

If God is nudging you to take a closer look at your marriage, the God-Centered Marriage course may be a blessing to you. 

Another way to bless your marriage is by serving together. For more on that and the benefits of serving with your Christian spouse, see this post.

Maybe your husband prefers to relate things to sports. I get that. In this post, Baseball, love, and Marriage, we talk about your marriage as a team.

In conclusion, godly marriages are not about achieving perfection but rather about embracing imperfections and growing together in faith. By prioritizing communication, vulnerability, and a shared vision, couples can navigate challenges with strength and find true joy and fulfillment in their marriage. Take the first step towards building a stronger marriage today by committing to put Christ at the center of your relationship. It is a great gift from God.

Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but when you put God at the center of your marriage, remove your own selfishness, and die a sacrificial death for our Savior, the priority of the Lord will blossom your marriage relationship.

You may enjoy this video by World Bible School on the Christ Centered Marriage:

Here are some book resources that I recommend on a Christ-centered marriage or Christian marriage:

The God Centered Marriage: Honoring Him Through Your Marriage by Susan J Nelson 

Simple Secrets Couples Should Know: Enjoying a God-Centered Marriage by Bob Barnes, Emilie Barnes

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? by Gary Thomas

Look for focused workshops on Christ-centered marriage on the shop tab at the top of this page. 

Because of Him,

Sue

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Welcome Ngubane

Friday 22nd of May 2020

Thank you Susan,we've been married for ten years now and I guess we have a lot to learn from your blog

Susan Nelson

Saturday 23rd of May 2020

You are very welcome. Thank you for stopping by and God Bless!

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