Beauty is Fleeting
Hello, Friends! I know, in advance, that this post may ruffle some feathers. My intent is not to upset anyone, but rather to gently encourage us to not let ourselves go – both for our husbands and ourselves. Now, I know that we get older and bodies flab, grey hair pops up and wrinkles form. Those are facts of life, as the post title indicates and as scripture tells us “Beauty is fleeting”.
Let’s go back to when you first met your husband. What was it about you that drew him to you? Perhaps, it was your positive attitude or your work ethic. Maybe it was how compassionate you are or how driven you were. Even if any of those ring true, there’s a good chance that he was also attracted to you, at least partially, by how you looked. Men (and women) are wired that way. God has created us to love beautiful things.
Now, let’s look at today. You may not weigh the same as you did when you met your husband, but do you make the same effort to care for yourself as you did back then? I’ll admit that for a time I slacked in this area. I work from home and most days just rolled out of bed and into my home office. My husband would get home from work and I was still in my pajamas. He said he didn’t mind, but I knew that at least on some level, he would prefer that I at least make an effort.
Beauty is Fleeting and Early Rising
After prayerfully considering what and how to change, I started to get up earlier. (See this post on rising early and having a more productive day). Now, as soon as I wake up, I take a shower, dress for the day (not in pajamas!) and put on very limited make-up. This change had more benefits that I had imagined when I put it in place! Not only is my husband pleased to come home to a put-together wife, but my confidence has soared! I feel more secure and honestly, am more productive. When I look put together, I feel put together.
When the kids are crying, the dog got into the garbage and we popped the zipper on our favorite pair of jeans, it’s easy to say “ah, forget it. I’m wearing sweatpants”. I get that. I really do. But, and hear me out on this one – what kind of message is that sending to your husband? Is it saying that everything else in life is more important that him? That dealing with life’s daily crises take priority over looking and feeling your best for your husband?
When you started to date your husband, how did you look and act? Did you dress up and wear cute heels? Did you put on makeup or perfume? Did you “do” your hair before he picked you up? Has anything changed? Or now, do you wear legging and flip flops, no makeup and hair in a ponytail everyday?
I’m not judging you, friend. I’m really not. That was me, as well. When I committed to making a change, the benefits of the change were incredible.
Beauty is Fleeting and Making Small Changes
To be honest, I don’t do everything that I used to in regards to looking and feeling my best. I no longer get manicures, but I do get my hair colored (if not, I would be nearly all grey and personally, I’m not quite ready for that!). I no longer spend tons of money on clothing (I buy a few pieces a few times per year and always on sale) I no longer wear heels everyday, but rather sandals or decent shoes (after years of flip flops my feet yell at me when I wear heels). The point is, you don’t have to spend hours and tons of money on looking good for your husband (and yourself), you just need to make an effort.
If you normally wear sweats or leggings for comfort, consider a sundress or skirt – both are comfortable and look great.
If you normally wear sneakers or flip flops, consider sandals or flats.
If you normally put your hair up in a ponytail, let it dry naturally.
Maybe you are thinking “my husband doesn’t care about any of this, he loves me the way I am”. You may be right, but I’d be willing to bet that he would also notice and appreciate if you made an effort to look good knowing it was for his benefit.
Don’t ask questions like “do you think I dress ok?” or “does my wearing sweats bother you?” Men, despite what modern sitcoms tell us, are not stupid. They will answer those questions in a way to avoid hurting your feelings or starting an argument.
Why not ask him what he thinks? Ask specific questions like – what color do you think looks best on me? Which way that I wear my hair do you like best? Which of my outfits are your favorite? Listen to his answers and make changes accordingly. He will notice and you will feel a renewed confidence in yourself.
I’d be willing to bet that when you make these small changes to look your best for your husband, that he will notice and that your marriage will benefit.
Remember that while beauty is fleeting, it’s not hard and will pay dividends in your marriage.
Which camp do you fall into? Have you stopped trying to look good for your husband or do you make an effort to please him by dressing and looking your best? Tell me in the comments below.
For more reading on looking your best for your husband, check out these articles from Stay Married Blog