Do you have an attitude of gratitude or I think that in our Christian walk and in our marital walk, often we forget to remember to be thankful. It’s easy to remember when your husband left his socks on the floor or forgot an important date, but do you remember all of the good things he does? If so, do you let him know how thankful you are for what he does? For who he is?
If you spend your days focusing on all of the wrong things he does, it begins to weigh, not just on your marriage but on you and your happiness, as well.
I’ve struggled with this, too. Earlier this week, I found myself annoyed with my husband for not getting anything done in the house. He had a slow week at work and, well, let’s say that he wasn’t very motivated when he was at home. Here I was working on my day job as well as this site, cooking dinner, cleaning the house and so much more. And, there he is relaxing! It made me frustrated to say the least.
When I read my Bible that day, God, once again, placed a verse before me that changed my “stinking thinking”
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
He has a way of doing that, doesn’t he? I immediately thought of how selflessly my husband was when he cared for me during my cancer diagnosis and surgery. How he makes and brings me my coffee in the mornings. How he never fails to compliment me. How hard he works for our family.
I was the problem here, not him. He had a day off and deserved a day of rest. More than likely, I was just feeling overwhelmed and he was the unwitting target. Now, each day, when I do my prayer and gratitude journaling, I make sure that I write at least one thing that makes me thankful for my husband. When I’m feeling a bit ungrateful, as I was that day, I can look it over and be reminded of what a wonderful man and husband he is. I am working on my attitude of gratitude.
Focus instead on the good your husband does. Let’s brainstorm this for a moment: Perhaps,
• he mows the lawn and keeps up with the yard
• works hard to support your family
• attends church services with you, weekly
• always puts his clothes in the hamper
• does the food shopping
• picks up the kids
• plays with or reads to the kids
• pulls your chair out for you or opens doors for you
• doesn’t stay out at bars with the guys
• tells you frequently that he loves you
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It doesn’t matter how big or small the good things he does are – tell him. And, journal about them. When times get tough or the two of you aren’t on good terms, pull out that journal and reflect on the man he truly is. Develop an “attitude of gratitude”.
Then, take it one step further – let your husband know on a daily basis how grateful you are for him. I highly recommend reading The 5 love language by Gary Chapman.
If your husband has a love language of words of affirmation, then letting him know how much you appreciate him will mean more to him than you can imagine. Even if that isn’t one of his love languages, everyone has some need to feel loved and appreciated.
You may even find that the more you show your gratitude toward your husband, the more he will, in turn, show gratitude to you. It’s all about developing an attitude of gratitude.
Grab a journal and jot a few things in it daily. Things that you are grateful for about your husband. Some days it may be tough. He may really irritate you, but I’m sure you can find at least a couple of things that you are grateful for. Then, tell him a few times a day how grateful you are for him.
Tell me below if this is something that you do well or need to work on. I’m here to support you and give you encouragement along the way. Do you have an attitude of gratitude?
For more on being a Proverbs 31 wife, see our post on doing your husband good, not harm.
Or consider my book, The God Centered Marriage.
I’m praying for you, my friends!
Because of Him,